I am starting over...
What does that mean?, Your probably saying
to yourself with a look of confusion on your face
well it means I'm quitting my old life and have decided to just
start over. Obviously there are somethings from my old life that
I cannot quit or get rid of, I have lived to long to really truly start over, but the things that are staying are the things that I want to stay like my kids and me of course but everything that I don't want anymore is going, along with this blog!
I have felt an obligation to this blog for so long, it use to be fun and I didn't care about stats or when I posted or if I didn't even post, but something changed and all of a sudden I am checking post views, follower numbers, and this blog pays me nothing to care about those things but I still obsessed over them. I give myself a hard time when I can't find time in my busy life to sit and write a book review and even sometimes the thought of not having the time to write a book review has actually stopped me from reading a book that I really wanted to read, (insert collective gasp here)!
I have been depressed since me and my husband separated and then when my doc told me I was pregnant with ex's baby well that would depress the happiest of people. We are still getting a divorce which is something that I really want for I truly know that I don't love him anymore and that for years I turned a blind eye to what a jerk he was to me, I am no saint either so don't take it that it is all his fault because it is not, but I only have to worry about myself not him so "He was a HUGE JERK"!!! I am due at the end of May and my Addie will alter my life forever so now is as good as time as any to change everything.
I did read Gretchen Rubin's new book that is coming out soon called Better than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives and it really showed me that we need to really focus on what is truly important to us and that there is no better time in your life to start making those changes then right now you just have to do it, it is really that simple, I know once you start it might not seem easy but it is much easier than taking that first initial step towards change. I'm taking that step and not letting my inner critic get me down. I also learned from Gretchen's book that there are four different types of personalities when it comes to habits and change and mine requires accountability, I am one of those people that likes a pat on the back, that likes when people see me and all that I am and have done, so I am not giving up blogging completely I am instead starting a new blog but it is going to be more of an online journal that others can read, no niche with art or books, and I'm going to write what I want to write about when I want to write about it and I will not be checking stats only comments because again I love that you all see me for me and are interested in my life. Relationship building is one of my top priorities and that includes online relationships so if you choose to visit my online journal and see me for me then leave a comment, send a high five, whatever you feel compelled to do because I can use all the help I can get!
Thanks to all of you for giving A Bookish Girl purpose and I'm sorry that this is over but it also brings a sense of relief and happiness!
Thanks again for everything,
If you want to check out my new blog which is there but has no design nor any posts yet you can check it out here!